Post by Sheryl Yoast on Feb 25, 2008 22:06:03 GMT -5
5. Mark vs Spencer [Baron Davis
One of the finer BBS Rivalaries in the Late Assyrian empirical age of BBS 2. Mark Kelley brewed a recipe of hate spewed it over the BBS Boards. The altercation began over the ratings of Baron Davis, who in Mark's opinion was rated off of a biased opinion from league commissioner Spencer Martin, a bartender from California. Armed with a thesaurus and a bulletproof vest designed for his ego, Kelley took on Martin in the BBS Battledome slandering the FBB 3-time Commissioner of the Year. "I was on a mission to mutilate Spencer's reputation in the FBB community" Kelley told us sipping a Martini in his Chateau "I never like Spencer, he was always stealing my thunder, getting the better chicks, getting all the glory, I needed to do something outrageous." Verbal missiles were fired back and forth in the General Board section which made some GM's feel vulnerable to injury. Here is a 911 Call from an unnamed GM that came during the heat of the incident.
911 Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
Unnamed GM: OH MY GOD, I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON YOU HAVE TOO HELP ME.
911 OPERATOR: Sir, where are you located?
Unnamed GM: My house? Where else do you think I am fucking am. Get over here.
911 Operator: Sir, where is that?
Unnamed GM: (crashing of glass objects in the background) I don't know the world around me is spinning, BLAZZZZZZZZZZZAS
(end of call)
This incident later snowballed into the "Spence is a Cheater" scandal of 2003 one of the monumental incidents of BBS 2. Pig News Correspondant Pig witnessed the incident first hand.
"I mean it was looking bad for Kelley early on. Spencer wasn't just taking any of Mark's expanded New Canaan vocabulary to heart and Mark looked as winded as Eddy Curry walking to his Mailbox. It looked like Elroy Jetson was getting into a fist fight with a sequoia."
The end resulted in Kelley leaving the BBS to explore other areas of life however life just wasn't the same for Kelley after the Spence dilema. Lifelong friend and fellow GM Aaron Haberman remembers an incident that was the apex of Mark's rage.
"The Cardinal, Mets game was just awful. One of the worst experiences of my life."
A month after Kelley left the BBS, Haberman decided to take his buddy out to the Mets-Cardinal game in an attempt to dig him out of the isolation from the world that Kelley was succumbing too. After a few too many drinks and too few many lines the duo headed to the Shea for some Metropolitan Baseball"
"Everything was good for the first couple of innings until Mark started heating up about something." Haberman told us "He came up to me and said Aaron, FredBird is ripping on Guillermo Mota and I told him he was out of his fucking mind"
Reports after the incident stated that Kelley told officers that "FredBird was sticking a syringe into his wings when Mota was in the bullpen and laughing hysterically.
"And I remember him hopping the fence, grabbing a Louisville Slugger and just going yard on FredBird and me thinking what in the bloody fuck is going on."
FredBird....Class Act? Or Class Douche?
FredBird lost 45 feathers and a broken talon due to Kelley going Rodney King on him.
After jail time and rehab Kelley got off the drugs and attempted to make a comeback in the BBS and get back on Spence's good side.
"You know its tough for a GM to come from and injury like that, but I had faith in Mark and thought he could make the come back." Martin told The Pig Times.
The journey was emotionally and spirtually rough for Kelley, but he persevered through the Post-Pad's, awful offers, and shitty articles that make no sense like this one in order to regain the strength he once had in the sim world.
"I am glad for Mark, he really proved that he isn't as big of a fag as I thought he was and he is coming into his own as a GM" Martin said. "He is truly turning into one of my favorite GM's and we have gotten close."
How close may one ask? Go to Club Copacabana down by the wharf for Happy Hour and you might find out
.
I am Pig for The Pig Times on this special of Top GM Rivalries. Good night
One of the finer BBS Rivalaries in the Late Assyrian empirical age of BBS 2. Mark Kelley brewed a recipe of hate spewed it over the BBS Boards. The altercation began over the ratings of Baron Davis, who in Mark's opinion was rated off of a biased opinion from league commissioner Spencer Martin, a bartender from California. Armed with a thesaurus and a bulletproof vest designed for his ego, Kelley took on Martin in the BBS Battledome slandering the FBB 3-time Commissioner of the Year. "I was on a mission to mutilate Spencer's reputation in the FBB community" Kelley told us sipping a Martini in his Chateau "I never like Spencer, he was always stealing my thunder, getting the better chicks, getting all the glory, I needed to do something outrageous." Verbal missiles were fired back and forth in the General Board section which made some GM's feel vulnerable to injury. Here is a 911 Call from an unnamed GM that came during the heat of the incident.
911 Operator: 911, what is your emergency?
Unnamed GM: OH MY GOD, I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON YOU HAVE TOO HELP ME.
911 OPERATOR: Sir, where are you located?
Unnamed GM: My house? Where else do you think I am fucking am. Get over here.
911 Operator: Sir, where is that?
Unnamed GM: (crashing of glass objects in the background) I don't know the world around me is spinning, BLAZZZZZZZZZZZAS
(end of call)
This incident later snowballed into the "Spence is a Cheater" scandal of 2003 one of the monumental incidents of BBS 2. Pig News Correspondant Pig witnessed the incident first hand.
"I mean it was looking bad for Kelley early on. Spencer wasn't just taking any of Mark's expanded New Canaan vocabulary to heart and Mark looked as winded as Eddy Curry walking to his Mailbox. It looked like Elroy Jetson was getting into a fist fight with a sequoia."
The end resulted in Kelley leaving the BBS to explore other areas of life however life just wasn't the same for Kelley after the Spence dilema. Lifelong friend and fellow GM Aaron Haberman remembers an incident that was the apex of Mark's rage.
"The Cardinal, Mets game was just awful. One of the worst experiences of my life."
A month after Kelley left the BBS, Haberman decided to take his buddy out to the Mets-Cardinal game in an attempt to dig him out of the isolation from the world that Kelley was succumbing too. After a few too many drinks and too few many lines the duo headed to the Shea for some Metropolitan Baseball"
"Everything was good for the first couple of innings until Mark started heating up about something." Haberman told us "He came up to me and said Aaron, FredBird is ripping on Guillermo Mota and I told him he was out of his fucking mind"
Reports after the incident stated that Kelley told officers that "FredBird was sticking a syringe into his wings when Mota was in the bullpen and laughing hysterically.
"And I remember him hopping the fence, grabbing a Louisville Slugger and just going yard on FredBird and me thinking what in the bloody fuck is going on."
FredBird....Class Act? Or Class Douche?
FredBird lost 45 feathers and a broken talon due to Kelley going Rodney King on him.
After jail time and rehab Kelley got off the drugs and attempted to make a comeback in the BBS and get back on Spence's good side.
"You know its tough for a GM to come from and injury like that, but I had faith in Mark and thought he could make the come back." Martin told The Pig Times.
The journey was emotionally and spirtually rough for Kelley, but he persevered through the Post-Pad's, awful offers, and shitty articles that make no sense like this one in order to regain the strength he once had in the sim world.
"I am glad for Mark, he really proved that he isn't as big of a fag as I thought he was and he is coming into his own as a GM" Martin said. "He is truly turning into one of my favorite GM's and we have gotten close."
How close may one ask? Go to Club Copacabana down by the wharf for Happy Hour and you might find out
.I am Pig for The Pig Times on this special of Top GM Rivalries. Good night
