Post by Speed Racer on Sept 2, 2008 22:48:52 GMT -5
The author of this prefers to stay anonymous. I'd take credit for it, but I'm much more intelligent than he is thus I have a much greater writing ability. Anyhow, I get the points.
Elton Brand - PF – Los Angeles Clippers
Team Record- 41-22
Why is he the MVP?
Why not? He is the best player in the league. The guy is just completely blowing awa the competition. He is leading the league in points per game with 30.1 shooting a staggering percentage of .549 from the floor. He dominates the boards with 11.4 rebounds a game. To boot he is also an unselfish player averaging over 3 asts a game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well if we have to nitpick he isn’t the biggest contributor on the other end of the floor. He is only getting a combined 2.4 steals + blocks per game. This isn’t near the level of his competition.
Paul Pierce – SG – Utah Jazz
Team Record- 33-31
Why is he the MVP?
Well this old dog still has plenty of new tricks. He is still averaging 29.4 points per contest while filling up the stats across the boards. 7.2 rebounds, 5.3 assists, 2.3 steals and the surprise stat of them all .9 blocks per game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well he is only shooting .462 from the floor while most of the MVP hopefuls are shooting closer if not over 50%. He is also not playing on a championship caliber team which some people may argue inflation.
Gilbert Arenas – PG – New York Knicks
Team Record – 40-23
Why is he the MVP?
Well for starters he has been the MVP the past two seasons straight so there is a good chance he’ll be the MVP again. Pretty amazing but we don’t dwell in the past we’re looking at right now. Agent Zero is up to his usual tricks scoring 28.7ppg good for fourth in the league. He is also averaging 9.6 assists and 5.7 rebounds per game. There is nothing hotter than Hibachi shooting a sizzling .501, .867, and .453.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well we really couldn’t come up with any reasons why he shouldn’t. His shortcomings are he isn’t a good shot blocker but what PG is? He also turns the ball over 3.4 times a game.
Tony Parker – PG – Los Angeles Lakers
Team Record – 40-20
Why is he the MVP?
The French man is just an amazing player to watch run the point. He is the most efficient player in the league. He is scoring 26.1 points and dishing out 9.5 assists per game. While having the ball all this time he only gives it up 1.9 times per game sporting the best assist to turnover ratio in the league. On top of this he is shooting .501, .893, .399.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well he isn’t as good as Gilbert Arenas. He just falls short of every statistical category. So if Gilbert Arenas doesn’t win MVP neither will Parker. I mean Tony Parker isn’t even the MVP in his relationship. Eva is definitely the Most Valuable Pussy out there.
Lebron James – SG – Dallas Mavericks
Team Record – 48-20
Why is he the MVP?
King James has yet to be crowned MVP well of the regular season that is. He has sat on top of the league twice as a champion. Like we said before the past means nothing its all about what have you been doing for me lately. Lebron has been slumping lately but we expect a strong finish. He does it all and does it all really well. 28.2 points, 8.8 rebounds, 5.5 assists, 2.4 steals, .8 blocks and only 2 turnovers per game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well for starters he is #6 in the league for points per game. He also needs to improve his assist numbers if he wants any shot at winning the MVP. His 8.8 + 5.5 isn’t enough to compete with the point guards who are more like 10 + 6.
Dirk Nowitzki – SF – Denver Nuggets
Team Record – 45-20
Why is he the MVP?
Dirk has resurrected his career in mile high. Dirk has been an assassin shooting the ball this season shooting .507, .808, .457. This could be the reason why he is scoring 28.7 points per contest this season. In addition to this he is getting 8.4 rebounds and 3.5 assists per game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well before we knocked Elton Brand’s defense well we can call Dirk’s defense completely non existent. In fact sometimes he just doesn’t even run back. He doesn’t block shots and he only averages 1.3 steals a game. We should call him Irk Nowitzki because he has no D. Ohhhhhh!
Toughest guy to leave off the list - Jermaine O’Neal
Dark Horse to win MVP – Derrick Rose
Honorable Mention after these guys: Tracy Mcgrady, Chris Paul, Baron Davis, Dwight Howard
Elton Brand - PF – Los Angeles Clippers
Team Record- 41-22
Why is he the MVP?
Why not? He is the best player in the league. The guy is just completely blowing awa the competition. He is leading the league in points per game with 30.1 shooting a staggering percentage of .549 from the floor. He dominates the boards with 11.4 rebounds a game. To boot he is also an unselfish player averaging over 3 asts a game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well if we have to nitpick he isn’t the biggest contributor on the other end of the floor. He is only getting a combined 2.4 steals + blocks per game. This isn’t near the level of his competition.
Paul Pierce – SG – Utah Jazz
Team Record- 33-31
Why is he the MVP?
Well this old dog still has plenty of new tricks. He is still averaging 29.4 points per contest while filling up the stats across the boards. 7.2 rebounds, 5.3 assists, 2.3 steals and the surprise stat of them all .9 blocks per game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well he is only shooting .462 from the floor while most of the MVP hopefuls are shooting closer if not over 50%. He is also not playing on a championship caliber team which some people may argue inflation.
Gilbert Arenas – PG – New York Knicks
Team Record – 40-23
Why is he the MVP?
Well for starters he has been the MVP the past two seasons straight so there is a good chance he’ll be the MVP again. Pretty amazing but we don’t dwell in the past we’re looking at right now. Agent Zero is up to his usual tricks scoring 28.7ppg good for fourth in the league. He is also averaging 9.6 assists and 5.7 rebounds per game. There is nothing hotter than Hibachi shooting a sizzling .501, .867, and .453.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well we really couldn’t come up with any reasons why he shouldn’t. His shortcomings are he isn’t a good shot blocker but what PG is? He also turns the ball over 3.4 times a game.
Tony Parker – PG – Los Angeles Lakers
Team Record – 40-20
Why is he the MVP?
The French man is just an amazing player to watch run the point. He is the most efficient player in the league. He is scoring 26.1 points and dishing out 9.5 assists per game. While having the ball all this time he only gives it up 1.9 times per game sporting the best assist to turnover ratio in the league. On top of this he is shooting .501, .893, .399.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well he isn’t as good as Gilbert Arenas. He just falls short of every statistical category. So if Gilbert Arenas doesn’t win MVP neither will Parker. I mean Tony Parker isn’t even the MVP in his relationship. Eva is definitely the Most Valuable Pussy out there.
Lebron James – SG – Dallas Mavericks
Team Record – 48-20
Why is he the MVP?
King James has yet to be crowned MVP well of the regular season that is. He has sat on top of the league twice as a champion. Like we said before the past means nothing its all about what have you been doing for me lately. Lebron has been slumping lately but we expect a strong finish. He does it all and does it all really well. 28.2 points, 8.8 rebounds, 5.5 assists, 2.4 steals, .8 blocks and only 2 turnovers per game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well for starters he is #6 in the league for points per game. He also needs to improve his assist numbers if he wants any shot at winning the MVP. His 8.8 + 5.5 isn’t enough to compete with the point guards who are more like 10 + 6.
Dirk Nowitzki – SF – Denver Nuggets
Team Record – 45-20
Why is he the MVP?
Dirk has resurrected his career in mile high. Dirk has been an assassin shooting the ball this season shooting .507, .808, .457. This could be the reason why he is scoring 28.7 points per contest this season. In addition to this he is getting 8.4 rebounds and 3.5 assists per game.
Why is he not the MVP?
Well before we knocked Elton Brand’s defense well we can call Dirk’s defense completely non existent. In fact sometimes he just doesn’t even run back. He doesn’t block shots and he only averages 1.3 steals a game. We should call him Irk Nowitzki because he has no D. Ohhhhhh!
Toughest guy to leave off the list - Jermaine O’Neal
Dark Horse to win MVP – Derrick Rose
Honorable Mention after these guys: Tracy Mcgrady, Chris Paul, Baron Davis, Dwight Howard
