Post by Funky George! on Dec 4, 2008 14:24:59 GMT -5
"He's fugazi. Flat out. I'm not fucking around this time. We were once friends, blood for all it counts. I would've fucked my dog for that guy. Do you know how much it hurts to admit you would fuck your dog to protect someone who betrayed you?
Yeah, I'm under the bus. And Rocky Kelley put me there. You tell Rocky to stay away from me on Day 82, or I'll fuck his dog."
It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were once BF4Ls. Magic GM Aaron J. Haberman even dedicated his fifth rap album, The Grandma Pt. 5, to longtime Nets GM Rocky Kelley. The two were long-rumored to be the conspirators behind a clique of GMs who cheated with each other. The Big Dog, Coach H, acted as the group's attorney, denying that they would cheat and going after those who had problems with them. Of course, they were cheating all along, and Rocky wanted to distance himself from Coach H, The Big Dog, in order to let the healing process begin.
"Rocky's a fucking traitor, and I'm gonna fuck his dog," Haberman said early Thursday from the Magic's training facility.
The two were bros since HS. Coach H introduced Rocky Kelley to such things as girls, rap, ice cream bars, cars, and steroids. In return, Rocky Kelley introduced the Big Dog to sweatpants. Coach H loves sweatpants!
They remained this close throughout college and for all their years as BBS GMs. Coach H would send Rocky Kelley emo mixtapes to cry to, and Rocky Kelley would cry to emo mixtapes sent to him by Coach H.
"I used to send that guy Death Cab for Cutie. Now I'm gonna fuck his dog," The Big Dog went on to say.
Even as recently as this offseason, Rocky and Coach H met up to feed the homeless, play Rock Band and analyze poetry.
"I used to be the Bono to his the Edge. Now I'm gonna fuck his dog," Coach H said.
This season has been the second in the rebuilding process for the Magic, while Rocky Kelley's Nets, at 32-19, are doing an awful job of competing in the East. The Magic have had the Nets' number in both their matchups so far this year, but The Big Dog's team has lost 9 of its last ten.
Lance Stephenson, star shooting guard for the Magic, defended his GM. "Alright, I know I'm young and naive and horny, but I wouldn't just fuck any guy's dog, you know? That's gotta be something the other guy deserves to have happen to his dog. And I heard what Rocky did. I went into Big Dog's office, and I said, 'Coach, you should fuck that guy's dog.'"
It's hard for most to imagine such a close friendship deteriorating. How could a man who once, in a rap song, wrote of his friend, Rocky Kelley, "Me n Kellman was eatin' on cheesesteaks/ Every time he leaves it's like my heart breaks," now desire to have sex with the same man's dog?
Coach H, the Big Dog, offered this explanation: "It's like asking a bomb how it explodes. Someone's gotta do some shit, right? Rocky, he hurt my feelings. He hung me out to dry. Now I'm gonna fuck his dog."
Contacted late Thursday, Rocky Kelley could hardly offer a response for his actions. "I have so much work for finals, OMG. Nobody has ever gone to college before me
. Life is sooo hard. LOLZ I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend!!!"
Asked why he would even bother to travel to New Jersey if he and Rocky Kelley are now enemies, Coach H said, "I just want to cry at his feet and beg for his friendship. Is that so much to ask?"
Yeah, I'm under the bus. And Rocky Kelley put me there. You tell Rocky to stay away from me on Day 82, or I'll fuck his dog."
It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were once BF4Ls. Magic GM Aaron J. Haberman even dedicated his fifth rap album, The Grandma Pt. 5, to longtime Nets GM Rocky Kelley. The two were long-rumored to be the conspirators behind a clique of GMs who cheated with each other. The Big Dog, Coach H, acted as the group's attorney, denying that they would cheat and going after those who had problems with them. Of course, they were cheating all along, and Rocky wanted to distance himself from Coach H, The Big Dog, in order to let the healing process begin.
"Rocky's a fucking traitor, and I'm gonna fuck his dog," Haberman said early Thursday from the Magic's training facility.
The two were bros since HS. Coach H introduced Rocky Kelley to such things as girls, rap, ice cream bars, cars, and steroids. In return, Rocky Kelley introduced the Big Dog to sweatpants. Coach H loves sweatpants!
They remained this close throughout college and for all their years as BBS GMs. Coach H would send Rocky Kelley emo mixtapes to cry to, and Rocky Kelley would cry to emo mixtapes sent to him by Coach H.
"I used to send that guy Death Cab for Cutie. Now I'm gonna fuck his dog," The Big Dog went on to say.
Even as recently as this offseason, Rocky and Coach H met up to feed the homeless, play Rock Band and analyze poetry.
"I used to be the Bono to his the Edge. Now I'm gonna fuck his dog," Coach H said.
This season has been the second in the rebuilding process for the Magic, while Rocky Kelley's Nets, at 32-19, are doing an awful job of competing in the East. The Magic have had the Nets' number in both their matchups so far this year, but The Big Dog's team has lost 9 of its last ten.
Lance Stephenson, star shooting guard for the Magic, defended his GM. "Alright, I know I'm young and naive and horny, but I wouldn't just fuck any guy's dog, you know? That's gotta be something the other guy deserves to have happen to his dog. And I heard what Rocky did. I went into Big Dog's office, and I said, 'Coach, you should fuck that guy's dog.'"
It's hard for most to imagine such a close friendship deteriorating. How could a man who once, in a rap song, wrote of his friend, Rocky Kelley, "Me n Kellman was eatin' on cheesesteaks/ Every time he leaves it's like my heart breaks," now desire to have sex with the same man's dog?
Coach H, the Big Dog, offered this explanation: "It's like asking a bomb how it explodes. Someone's gotta do some shit, right? Rocky, he hurt my feelings. He hung me out to dry. Now I'm gonna fuck his dog."
Contacted late Thursday, Rocky Kelley could hardly offer a response for his actions. "I have so much work for finals, OMG. Nobody has ever gone to college before me
. Life is sooo hard. LOLZ I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend!!!"Asked why he would even bother to travel to New Jersey if he and Rocky Kelley are now enemies, Coach H said, "I just want to cry at his feet and beg for his friendship. Is that so much to ask?"
